"FAIRIES!" is dedicated to the posters of "rec.games.frp.advocacy," without whom it would never have come into being.
Lyric of the Month:
"Now the job's a little risky, but I'm my own boss/I got to tell you, John, it really gets me off."
-Webb Wilder: "Human Cannonball," Hybrid Vigor, Island Records 1989
Published by MillerArt, 616 E. 700 S., Salt Lake City, UT 84102. (E-mail to <nuelow@earthlink.net>)
Text and NUELOW game, Copyright Steven Miller, 1994. All rights reserved.
Game Design and Editing: Steven 'The One To Blame' Miller <nuelow@earthlink.net>
Additional Editing: Thomas Biskup
Assistance: Jeffrey D. Jonsson and John K. Solomon
Artwork and Cartography: C. Lipper and Karl M.
Converted to HTML and edited some more by: Mark 'Kamikaze' Hughes <http://kuoi.asui.uidaho.edu/~kamikaze/>
"I wanna pick up hookers," says the married computer programmer when his fighter character reaches the center of the civilized world.
"I want two women and three elven hunks and I want 'em for all night," says the divorced mother of two when her character from a grim, gritty, cyberpunk fantasy future reaches Joe's Cash and Merry.
"Give me the ones with the dirty illuminations," says the priest playing a swashbuckling scholar in mythical medieval Europe.
It seems that regardless of the type of role-playing game that is being played, the characters will, eventually, engage in lecherous behavior. In most game systems, GMs have to rely on their own limited experience with lechery to give the characters what they want. That is, after all, the only way to please the character's player, and isn't that what the game is ultimately all about?
Another problem is that most game systems don't give overworked GMs any material to work with when the player... oops, characters let their baser instincts come to the surface. ("What would an elf consider safe sex, anyway, and how much would he charge for an hour?" The GM, who spent the last three evenings working out the intricate political jockeying for position of the Guild of Bellmakers and the Guild of Seamstresses, hasn't given brothels in the Town of Chestrile a thought. Disgusted, he folds his GMs screen. "Get out! Get OUT!")
If this happens time and again with a gaming group, or if the GM wants to run a campaign centered on the conquest of hearts rather than nations, the NUELOW GENERAL GAME SYSTEM is what you've been waiting for. "Fairies!" is only the first in a series of interlocking games that focus a little more on love (both in the ideal and carnal sense) than those that have proceeded it.
It is not our intention to encourage promiscuity and debauchery among gamers. This product line is simply a response to the many gamers who like to "play house" with imaginary people while sitting around a table with a room full others. NUELOW is a way to ensure that everyone's playing the same game, so to speak. We provide the framework, you, if you must, provide the dirty mind.
The NUELOW team is very much aware that many gamers are impressionable children, and, as parents and/or uncles ourselves, know the importance of providing young children with entertainment that displays sound values. For this reason, there is nothing in any of the NUELOW series that couldn't make it onto prime-time television, or hasn't been approved by SMOSM (Steve Miller's Overly Sensitive Mother).
While NUELOW is a playable game, it is more satire of certain attitudes and mindsets held by many hobby gamers than anything else. If you don't like it, too bad. We've already spent your money.
You've already got all the rules right here in this book. Now, you need at least one six-sided die, some friends, a pencil or two, and some paper to write your character up on. Oh, and munchies. Don't forget the munchies.
We apologize for not requiring you acquire all manner of "funny dice" (i.e., 4-sided dice, 8-sided dice, 36-sided dice...). Our initial intention was to market 600-sided dice with the NUELOW line, but we found that it takes close to an hour for one of them to stop spinning once thrown. So we went through "Fairies!" and deleted a bunch of zeroes. (Oh well, into every business a little Edsel must fall...)
Since the designers and editors of this series find "he" and "she" equally offensive, oppressive, exclusionary, whatever, all characters in NUELOW will be referred to as "it." (Except in those cases where the character's gender is clear.)
In "Fairies!" players assume the roles of, well, fairies (no surprise there, we suppose,) fun-loving forest creatures who want nothing but to enjoy life to its fullest, or crusaders, armor-clad, weapons-toting humans with no interest in fun what so ever. They have come to the Magical Forest to root out the fairy menace. For players who can't make up their minds, there are the half-fairies.
Regardless of species, each character has seven Attributes: Strength, Agility, Looks, Intelligence, Personality, Health, and Pain Threshold. Attributes are rated on a scale of 1-15, and, except for genetic advantages (explained below,) players must spend character points (also explained below) to improve a character's attribute ratings:
| Attribute Rating | Cost Per Point | Level |
|---|---|---|
| 1- 3 | 1 | Attribute Impaired |
| 4- 7 | 3 | Average |
| 8-10 | 10 | Exceptional |
| 11-12 | 30 | Legendary |
| 13-15 | 60 | Divine |
Attributes are a measure of a character's natural talents in certain areas. Characters who attempt a difficult or dangerous action (frolic with a porcupine, seduce a crusader, whatever) roll two six-sided dice, or one six-sided die twice, adding the results and checking them against the appropriate Attribute Rating. If the number is equal to or less than the Attribute Rating, the character is successful. If the attempt fails, the GM is at liberty to decide the result. Each character can perform one action per round, unless the GM, or rules say otherwise. An Attribute Rating of zero is not recommended. (Other players will make fun of zero-ratings.)
When punching characters, or attacking with blunt or edged hand-held weapons, the character has the following modifiers to damage inflicted (Results less than zero do no damage):
| Strength Rating | Damage Modifier |
|---|---|
| 0- 3 | -2 |
| 4- 7 | 0 |
| 8-10 | +1 |
| 11-12 | +2 |
| 13-15 | +4 |
| Looks Rating | Personality Rating Modifier |
|---|---|
| 0- 3 | -3 |
| 4- 7 | 0 |
| 8-10 | +1 |
| 11-12 | +3 |
| 13-15 | +6 |
The modifiers represent the first-impression reactions character's with bad looks get from the surrounding world. This penalty may be negated (DMs option) once characters get to know each other.
| Intelligence Rating | Personality Rating Modifier |
|---|---|
| 0- 3 | -2 |
| 4-10 | 0 |
| 11-12 | +1 |
| 13-15 | -3 |
GMs and players will note that at either extreme on the scale, the character has a negative modifier. Once again, this reflects first impressions. Let's face it, the general public is not likely to react kindly to someone who constantly drools, or a character whose first words are "I am the Lord, thy God. Bring my commandments unto the people." On the other hand, the positive modifier reflects the fact that mid-level geniuses each have their own special brand of charm.
As mentioned previously, in "Fairies!" players to assume the roles of fairies, crusaders, or half-fairies. While that may seem a bit limited, please remember that further volumes are being prepared for NUELOW. Each of those will introduce two or more new player character species. (Some of which will have Attribute Ratings on scales from 1-20, just for you power-gamers.) And unlike certain other "universal" role-playing games systems, all NUELOW products will be 100 percent compatible with what has gone before. As future products are released, cowboys, space pirates, and even drunken frat boys might make their way to the Magic Forest. (And the peoples of "Fairies!" may invade those other realms.) In the meantime, GMs and players who feel constrained by three races can always design their own. It's not brain surgery or anything...
Fairies range in height from 3" to 7', appear any age, of any build, any gender, and any humanoid species and race the GM wishes to put in the campaign world. Generally speaking, a fairy appears like a slender, androgynous figure, almost child-like in appearance and build. They have little use for clothes and rarely wear more than a loincloth, if that. They keep the company of forest creatures and spend their time in playful frolics, cavorting, playing musical instruments, and sleeping in the sun (both literally and euphemistically). Characteristics that vary from fairy to fairy are outlined under Advantages and Disadvantages. Fairies as a group have no particular ill will toward those who would harm them. Rather, they pity the violent crusaders and half-fairies, and take every opportunity to encourage them to have fun and engage in fairy-like pleasures.
Genetic Advantages
Genetic Advantages
However, this dourness gives a crusader exceptional resistance to Seduction attempts (as described under Skills.) The Seducer must add the crusader's Personality Attribute bonus to Skill rolls. A failed check means the crusader may attack the would-be seducer, with +1 to all damage.
Half-fairies are notorious for being bad tempered, sadistic and violent toward those who are not of their kind. This mean-streak is evident even from a half-fairy's earliest years, so half-fairies are often driven out of the communities their human parents dwell in. Eventually, half-fairies stumble upon one of several hidden half-fairy communities in or near the Magic Forest. (Anyone but half-fairies finding such a village is tortured and generally not unfortunate to survive the experience.)
Half-fairies unfortunate enough to be born to a crusader are left to die of exposure in the countryside. Often, roving bands of half-fairies (3-18 in numbers) find such abandoned children and bring them to one or their secret enclaves. Half-fairy are viewed with sorrow by the fairies, who wish their physical off-springs had their sense of fun; and as abominations to be destroyed by crusaders.
| Die Roll | Genetic Advantage |
|---|---|
| 1 | Change Appearance at Will |
| 2 | Dour Looks |
| 3 | Tone Deafness |
| 4-6 | Nothing Special |
All characters, regardless of species, start with 40 character points. As mentioned above, these are used to buy attributes. They are also used, however, to buy skills and advantages, and may be split between these three categories as the player sees fit. The beginning total can also be increased by taking disadvantages, which may only be selected at character creation. (Unlike Skills that can be bought and improved whenever the character has enough points to do so.)
As the character adventures (or frolics, scowls, bumps off fairies, whatever) the GM awards additional skill points. If the GM likes you, he or she will give your character lots of points. These points are applied toward improving Attributes or Skills, buying new Skills and Advantages, and "buying-off" disadvantages. Future NUELOW products will introduce additional advantages, disadvantages, and skills.
Meanwhile, GMs and players (with GM approval) are encouraged to make up their own if they feel constrained. (Again, this isn't brain surgery...)
Characters with the "Spellcraft" skill may create any effect allowed by the GM, while characters simply possessing Magical Ability cause random effects as rolled on two six-sided dice and checked against the following list (Unless otherwise is stated, each spell effect is either instantanious or lasts for 1 round:
The target must be in the spell-caster's line-of-sight. Only one spell can be cast per round. This advantage costs 8 points.
As mentioned above, taking disadvantages can provide extra character points. GMs should try to place characters in situations where their disadvantages might come into play. (Don't overdo it, though.) Certain disadvantages have Attribute-bases and modifiers listed. The modifiers are added to the character's roll when it checks to avoid letting weakness get the best of it. There might be some of these disadvantages characters don't want to resist, of course. GMs shouldn't force players to roll if they want their characters to engage in certain generally unacceptable behaviors. (See "Introduction" for details.)
Characters may spend points to negate disadvantages as they earn points. When a character has "repaid" the points it earned from taking the disadvantage, it is "cured" of whatever its weakness was.
To successfully use a skill, a character must make a check (on two six-sided dice) against the appropriate attribute. Further, character points can be used to improve skills. There are four skill levels, and it costs 2 character points to buy a first-level skill. The price goes up from there, but at higher levels, the character receives a bonus to Attribute Checks, a negative modifier on the roll.
On the other hand, a character has a penalty for attempting to perform an action he isn't skilled in. GMs should use their judgment in determining the results of a failed check, and even if the character can do what is required without the skill. (Tracking, for example, is not something a character without the skill could even attempt... unless it's tracking someone through fresh mud.)
| Skill Level | Point Cost | Bonus to Checks |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | +4 |
| 1 | 2 | 0 |
| 2 | 4 | -2 |
| 3 | 8 | -4 |
| 4 | 16 | -6 |
Characters may attempt to use more than one skill per round. A fairy may try to seduce a crusader while frolicking, for example. Both checks must be successful for the desired effect to come about, and often all Attribute Bonuses should be added to one or both checks. Common sense (as interpreted by the GM) should be applied.
| Intelligence | Mitigating |
|---|---|
| Modifier | Circumstance |
| -3 | Giving in will be dangerous |
| -2 | Seducer is personal enemy |
| -1 | Seducer attacked target earlier |
| +1 | Eye-contact with seducer |
| +2 | Physical contact with seducer |
| +3 | No negatives from succumbing |
| +4 | Expects pleasure beyond dreams |
Modifiers are cumulative where one or more applies. There are as many other circumstances that might result in modifiers. Again, GMs should use their best judgment in the individual situations. The seduction effect remains in full force for as along as the seducer and the seduced are within line-of-sight of each other, and for a number of rounds rolled on two six-sided, minus the seducer's Intelligence Attribute bonus. Since fairies are such sensual, carnal creatures, all targets attempted to resist advances from one of their kind must apply an immediate +2 against the Intelligence Attribute check. Additionally, once a character has been seduced, it will always be susceptible to the wiles of that particular seducer to the tune of +1 to the Intelligence roll, +3 if the seduction resulted in carnal delights.
This is it, the chapter that finally gives you all the rules that lets your character get down and dirty. While combat generally means hacking, slashing, and spreading as much carnage in as short time as possible, there are some NUELOW combat rules that apply to more intimate pursuits. As evident in some of the skills above, what is sometimes useful on the field of battle can also come in handy between the sheets...
The basis for all time-keeping in NUELOW games is the "round." There are six seconds in one round, ten rounds in one minute, sixty minutes in one hour, 24 hours in one day (which, we all know is simply not enough) and so on, and so forth. Consult the calendar on your wall for additional details.
Each player must declare what action the character will perform that round, using the characters' Agility Attribute Ratings to determine who acts first, highest scores act first. A player may choose to hold a character's action until later in the round, but must call it as soon as actions have been declared for the character he or she was trying to shaft... uh, support. Each character can perform at least one action per round, although GMs can rule that the character can do more or less, too. (It's a rare thing, though, when a character can't just lay still on the ground, unconscious, or just overcome with exhaustion.) If there is one or more characters with the same Agility Rating, the order is as follows:
Remember, seduced characters always act last in the round on the round they are seduced.
Attribute Ratings are also used to determine who controls the situation during close encounters of the carnal kind. Characters with the Sexual Prowess skill always act first in the round, and any other disputes need to be moderated by the GM. The characters should ideally be engaged only in consensual acts of this nature, but if player egos get in the way, the GM can look at the specific situation and determine which Attribute Rating should be applied. Generally, the Agility or Personality Ratings will apply, but if the words "whips" and "chains" have come up (together or separately) Strength is most likely the Attribute to go off. Characters that have been seduced into the situation will always act after the seducer, unless instructed to do otherwise. See "Attacking" for addtional information.
A character's full movement rate equals one-third of its combined Strength, Agility and Health Attribute bonuses in feet. This is the same, whether the character in on the ground or flying. The minimum movement is always three, regardless of negative Attribute bonuses. Characters on the ground may choose to move less than their full movement rates, or not move at all, while flying characters must always take their full movement (divided between changes in altitude and directions,) with the exceptions noted under the Advantages and Skills sections. It is possible for characters to move and attack simultaneously, if they are within range (or reach) of each other. For each character that has declared movement during a turn, there is a +1 cumulative to-hit penalty. In other words, two moving characters trying to hit each other with clubs would each add 2 to their Agility Attribute checks. Flying characters are always moving.
GMs who like their games complicated are invited to come up with arcane movement modifier charts for various types of terrain. We may or may not include expanded ground movement rules in "Lust and Dust!," a role-playing game of the Wild West, and the second entry in the NUELOW series. We're torn between the guiding philosophy behind NUELOW ("Keep it simple, and if that's not possible, keep it stupid...") and our recognition of the fact that many role-players want rules for everything. We'll probably be debating whether to include such rules up to the moment of release.
The flying rules, however, will definitely be elaborated upon in "Stars and Garters!," the NUELOW science fiction role-playing game. See the inside of this product's front cover for release date and/or current availability. (We feel a bit weaselly about splitting the flying rules this way, but the expanded rules deal primarily with aerial combat and firing Big Guns while airborne... and there are no Big Guns in "Fairies!" Well, not yet at least. Get your copy of "Stars and Garters!" as soon as you can.)
Attacks are resolved whenever a character acts in a turn. To hit, a character must roll the appropriate Weapons Use skill Attribute or a Unarmed Combat roll. If a character hits the target, apply the damage appropriate to the weapon being used (found under "Equipment") and any Strength Attribute bonuses/penalties. If the character is wearing armor (also found under "Equipment") only damage exceeding the character's Armor Rating is subtracted from the Health Rating.
A character may attack up to three targets in one round, if those targets are in melee combat. For each target attacked, a +1 penalty is added to the Weapons Use skill Attribute check. (+1 for the first target, +2 for the second, and +3 for the third.) Only one ranged attack is possible.
Characters may choose to take "called shots." There is a +3 to-hit penalty on "called shots," but extra damage is inflicted on successful hits, with vital areas subject to the greatest damage bonuses. (The damage still needs to exceed the Armor Rating.)
Ranged attacks are resolved as so: if it looks like the character can hit the target, the character can hit the target. (GMs rulings are final.)
| Called-shot | Extra |
|---|---|
| Location | Damage |
| Head | roll six-sided, apply result |
| Torso | 4 points |
| Arms | 2 points, +1 penalty on to-hit rolls |
| Legs | 1 point, +2 penalty on relevant Agility checks, lower movement rate 1/3 for each 5 points of "called shot" damage. |
Wings on fairies and half-fairies can only be hit with "called shots." The damage inflicted is as per a normal attack, but the to-hit penalties apply.
Certain sexual situations might require to-hit rolls (Agility or Strength Attribute Checks.) These include characters who are moving, characters who are in a boat on a storm-tossed sea, or character's trying to engage in sexual acts with an unwilling target. We discourage such behavior, and find individuals who force others to have sex against their will (equals rape) not worthy of the space they occupy on this planet. There are, nonetheless, characters in role-playing games that will behave as scum. GMs should see to it that any non-player character who is being raped fights back to the best of its ability, even if it means the loss of the rapist's gonads ("called shot," automatic 5 points of damage, as well as a permament 3-point loss to Personality Rating and a +3 penalty to all future Sexual Prowess checks).
Characters living in the Magic Forest have all necessities of life (food, clothes, shelter, etc.) Fairies have few material wants, while half-fairies pillage and rape to get what they need and crusaders live off the sweat of peasants living near their fortresses. Therefore, money is virtually useless here: what items that can't be made or stolen, characters barter for.
Beginning player characters in "Fairies!" roll one six-sided die. The result equals the pieces of equipment the character starts with. It is possible that one character will have one item while another will have six. That's tough, but that's life. It's a multiverse of haves and have-nots, and if the player with one item bitches, the GM should remind him or her of the time-honored tradition for gaining more stuff in role-playing games: the looting of dead bodies.
The Equipment list is divided into three sections, "Armor," "Weapons" and "Other Stuff." Characters may have items from these lists (except those that are not allowed to their species) at creation, to a maximum of the number they rolled. Players make the selections. If the equipment available seems a bit meager, remember that future NUELOW products will expand this list greatly. Again, feel free to create your own items. (Pop Jeopardy answer: "Brain surgery." You pose the question for $1,000.)
How do the player characters barter for additional equipment? Well, they find a non-player character that has something one or more of them wants, then they find something the non-player character wants, and they trade. How do they get what the non-player character wants? Perhaps that's what the adventure is about. At any rate, getting what you need and want is not hard for a resourceful character in the Magic Forest.
Each weapon in NUELOW has five statistics, type, damage, weight, size, and race (stating which species is allowed to use the weapon in question.) Remember, a character's Strength Damage Modifier is added to hand-to-hand and meelee weapon attacks, as is "called shot" damage modifiers. Blunt weapons do non-lethal damage, edged do lethal damage unless otherwise noted, while the damage listed for ranged weapons is actually for the projectile it fires. The character receives eight projectiles if a ranged weapon is selected at character creations. Further projectiles must be bartered for, or acquired in some other fashion. Any large weapon is treated as if weighing 10 pounds for encumbrance purposes. Crossbows have the special effect of ignoring Armor Ratings. All edged weapons come with sheathes.
Fairies have a limited selection of weapons. This reflects their non-violent nature.
Key to codes:
| Weapon | Type | Damage | Weight | Size | Race | AT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bow | R, E | 2 L | 2 pounds | Medium | All | Str. | |
| Club | H, B | 1 NL | 2 pounds | Medium | All | Str. | |
| Club, spiked | H, B/E | 1 NL | 1 L | 3 pounds | Medium | h | Str. |
| Crossbow, lgt. | R, E | 2 L | 3 pounds | Medium | h | Agil | |
| Crossbow, hvy. | R, E | 4 L | 6 pounds | Large | c, h | Agil | |
| Dagger | H, E | 1 L | .2 pounds | Small | All | Agil. | |
| Gauntlet | H, B/E | 1 NL | 1 L | 1 pound | Small | c | Str. |
| Lance, footman | H, E | 3 L | 8 pounds | Medium | c | Str. | |
| Lance, mounted | H, E | 6 L | 15 pounds | Large | c | Str. | |
| Mace, medium | H, B | 2 L | 6 pounds | Medium | c, h | Str. | |
| Mace, large | H, B | 4 L | 11 pounds | Medium | c | Str. | |
| Mace, spiked | H, B/E | 5 L | 8 pounds | Medium | c, h | Str. | |
| Sling | R, B | 1 NL | .1 pounds | Small | f | Agil. | |
| Staff | H, B | 1 NL | 1 pound | Medium | f | Str. | |
| Staff, spiked | H, B/E | 1 NL | 2 L | 2 pounds | Medium | h | Str. |
| Sword, small | H, E | 2 L | 3 pounds | Small | All | Agil. | |
| Sword, large | H, E | 4 L | 6 pounds | Medium | c, h | Agil. | |
| Sword, massive | H, E | 6 L | 10 pounds | Large | c | Str. | |
| Whips & chains | H, B | 1 NL | 2 pounds | Small | h | Agil. | |
Each type of armor in NUELOW has four ratings, type, armor rating, weight, and race. Armor rating represents the degree of protection the character is afforded when wearing it. The "full armors" weigh 10 pounds for each point of protection provided, but the protection is in all locations (except wings) while other types weigh 2 pounds for each point of protection. It takes one six-sided die worth of rounds put on a piece of armor, and five six-sided dice of rounds to put on a full suit. It takes roughly half that time to take the armor off. Again, race indicates the species that is permitted to wear the armor in question. The abbreviations are the same as used above.
Fairies tend to shy away from armor. Although they may wear full chain, they only do so when crusaders are invading the forest in full force. Fairies prefer to move about in as little clothing as possible, so they may feel the sweet breeze and warm sun on their naked skin, or change form when the urge strikes them (and do whatever else when the urge strikes them.) It is not uncommon for fairies to wear individual pieces of armor, particularly helmets with wild ornementations on them. Fairies who have permanent wings never wear torso armor of any type, and those with transmutable wings must remove the armor before they can use the wings.
| Type | Armor Rating | Weight | Race |
|---|---|---|---|
| Chain, full suit | 2 | 20 pounds | all |
| Chain, head | 2 | 4 pounds | h |
| Chain, torso | 4 | 8 pounds | all |
| Chain, arms | 2 | 4 pounds | c, h |
| Leather, torso | 2 | 4 pounds | f, h |
| Leather, arms | 1 | 2 pound | f, h |
| Leather, legs | 1 | 2 pound | f, h |
| Plate, full suit | 4 | 40 pounds | c |
| Plate, head | 3 | 6 pounds | c, f, h |
| Plate, torso | 9 | 20 pounds | c, h |
| Plate, arms | 3 | 6 pounds | all |
| Plate, legs | 3 | 6 pounds | all |
For attacks that aren't "called shots," a character's Armor Rating equals the armor type's full suit or torso rating, whichever is less.
This section provides a smattering of mundane equipment the people of the Magic Forest might have with them when encountered. This list is nowhere near all-inclusive. GMs and players wishing to expand the list should think of items that might be available to the people of medieval Europe. Your local library has a variety of books on that and many other subjects. Read, because a mind is a terrible thing to waste (ya-da, ya-da, ya-da...). If you don't want to go to the library, we're sure you have the core rules for everyone's favorite role-playing game (@*&*) on a shelf nearby. Again, this list will be expanded in future NUELOW volumes.
The restrictions given under race are primarily intended for the initial selection of equipment. (There's no reason why a fairy shouldn't pick up a lantern, half-fairy adult toys or a shotgun [found in "Lust and Dust!"] during its adventures.)
Although fairies are permitted many items on the list, a typical fairy will rarely be found with more than a belt, a pouch and an instrument or two. (No, we didn't forget to mention the clothes.)
| Item | Description/Notes | Weight | Race |
|---|---|---|---|
| Adult toys | Guess! | varies | h |
| Backpack | Holds stuff (20 pounds worth) | .2 pounds (empty) | c, h |
| Belt | Holds stuff up | .06 pounds | all |
| Books with dirty | |||
| illuminations | Crusader porn | 1-20 pounds | c |
| Boots, plain | Goes on feet | 1 pound | c, h |
| Boots, steel-toed | Goes on feet, inflicts 2 NL | ||
| on successful Agil. check | 3 pounds | c | |
| Cloak | Warm and woolly | 1 pound | all |
| Clothes | Shirt, pants, etc. | varies | c, h |
| Pan flute | What every fairy has | .09 | f |
| Tin flute | Makes tinny music | .008 | h, f |
| Harp, hand-held | Makes heavenly music | 5 pounds | f |
| Horse, War | See "Creatures" | a lot! | c |
| Lantern | Lights up the night | 4 pounds | c, h |
| Moccasins | Light footwear | .007 pounds | f |
| Oil | What lanterns need | .1 pound (1 flask) | c, h |
| Peasant slave | See "Creatures" | varies | c |
| Pouch, belt | Holds stuff (5 pounds worth) | .01 pounds | all |
| Sack | Holds stuff (10 pounds worth) | .01 pounds | all |
| Tinder box | Used to light fires | .05 pounds | all |
| Torch | Lights up the night | .02 pounds | all |
| Unicorn | See "Creatures" | a lot! | f |
Of course, no self-respecting GM would dream of using a pre-made campaign setting. (Which means there are many GMs with low self-esteem out there.) Nonetheless, we threw together a couple of aids to jump-start your NUELOW campaign: a setting the Magic Forest some monsters, and some adventure seeds.
The Magic Forest gets its name from various places in the woods that are portals to other worlds. Caves, hollow tree stumps, and placid ponds are spots where strange creatures from other worlds emerge, and beings of the Magic Forest enter to never be seen again. These locations are the Gates of Nuelow, a rather cheesy device that keeps cowboys, fairies, drunken frat-boys and sex-starved aliens from the planet Bobbitsnipowies separate, yet still linked. ("The NUELOW Bedside Companion!" will include a grand adventure that merges all the realities into one.)
Fairies live in the Magic Forest, cavorting with all manner of wild beasts. There are a few well-hidden half-fairy communities in the most overgrown parts of the forest, but most other species dwell on the outskirts of the forest.
Crusaders, being a paranoid bunch who are convinced the fairies are everywhere, constantly trying to corrupt them (and with some justification) dwell in massive fortifications. Crusader fortresses only fall to treachery from within. Half-fairies have besieged more than one of them, only to break the siege off after three or four years. Besides crusaders and their small families, the fortresses are filled with foodstores, livestock, and the levels where the crusader's intelligent mounts, war horses, live when they're not carrying the crusaders into battle against the fairies. These horse-like creatures have their reasons for hating fairies, but no one has been able to get them to reveal them. (YOUR CAMPAIGN HERE!)
Near every crusader fortress is a small village, populated by peasants. They till the soil, tend the crusader war horses, act as servants, and generally do whatever the heavily armed people from the massive stone building tell them to do. Mostly, the peasants serve out of tradition and gratitude.
Peasants fear the fairies who rob them of self-control, and the violent half-fairies, who rob them of life, seeing the crusaders as the only thing standing between the status quo and utter chaos. There are some peasants that have become slaves of the crusaders, however. These unfortunate souls have committed severe violations of the moral code (had sex with a fairy and got caught, whistled a tune on a holy day, etc.) or are descended from someone who did, and thus their whole family for ten generations is condemned to servitude. Peasant villages are protected by an extension of the crusader fortress' outer curtain wall. A few peasants also dwell by the Saw Sea where they fish for a living. (These peasants, if they were anything but creatures in a role-playing game, might be referred to as fishermen and fisherwomen.) Peasant villages contain little of note, other than peasants, whom fairies enjoy seducing.
Half-fairy settlements are surrounded by low stone walls and all manner of pit traps. There is only one safe way to reach one. Nothing is known about how half-fairies live in their villages (YOUR CAMPAIGN HERE!) as even fairies have been unable to infiltrate them. Half-fairies keep ohmys, strange beings that resemble large (5' in length) slugs that have the uncanny ability to identify a fairy regardless of what shape it takes. Since ohmys are not found wild in any known territories, it is speculated that they are fetched by half-fairies from parcels of unexplored territories in the Magic Forest. These territories are generally called "Where the wild things are." They are too remote for the fairies to care about, and most crusaders and half-fairies don't want to bother with them as long has they have each other and fairies to kill off. These regions might be home to all manner of strange beasts. (YOUR CAMPAIGN SETTING HERE!)
West of the Magic Forest is a sandy beach and the Saw Sea, a vast ocean dotted with thousands of islands, large and small. It's here so that you may create seaborne adventures, and so we can use it for "Sea of Sinners!," the NUELOW pirate supplement. (We had to get the seamen jokes in somewhere.) To the north, is the Land of Hans, the place where the crusaders originally came from. (This is where we'll be placing our game of role-playing adventures in the worlds of Hans Christian Andersen, "Ugly Ducklings and Ice Queens!") To the east and south, we've got nothing. You can design your own regions (or make the Magic Forest part of your favorite game world).
Oh, and we've left any kind of scale of the map. That way you can make the Magic Forest as big or small as you want.
Map Key: 1. Here be fairies. 2. Crusader fortresses. 3. Peasants 4. Half-fairy villages. 5. Where the wild things are. 6. Gates of Nuelow.
The Attribute Ratings given for the various species and animal categories below are averages, to be used as examples for GMs to design creatures and NPCs of their own. GMs should outfit intelligent creatures with the appropriate equipment.
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | 5 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 14 | 12 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | 11 | 7 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 4 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 6 | 8 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 5 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 9 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 12 | 11 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 10 | 10 | 4 | 8 | 5 | 4 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | 13 | 13 | 7 | 14 | 10 | 6 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | 12 | 10 | 8 | 11 | 9 | 9 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | 10 | 8 | 4 | 3 | 10 | 12 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 14 | 13 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 15 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | 4 | 4 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 4 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | 6 | 5 | 6 | 5 | 6 | 5 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | 11 | 9 | 4 | 4 | 11 | 12 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 12 | 12 |
| Str | Agi | Lks | Int | Per | Hth | PTh |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 8 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 6 |
The following are starting points for developing adventures for "Fairies!". Broken down according to player character species, each scenario is formulated from a viewpoint that species would consider heroic.
Would-be players should not read past this point. You'll only be ruining your fun.
Okay, fine. Ignore us then. We did our part. Now, when you blow it, and the GM senses you've read the scenario and kills your character out of spite, don't come boobing to us.
Aside from giving the old mother a chance to say good-bye to her beloved son, letting the children say good-bye to their father, and giving the wife the best night in bed she has ever experienced, the characters might uncover a bit of intrigue: the peasant isn't really dead. A woman crusader leader has taken him captive after he scorned her advances. She spots one of the characters, and, assuming the peasant somehow escaped, she captures that character and whichever NPCs it was with. It is now up the rest to save everybody from the crusader's clutches.
Such a witch-hunt could have several results, depending on the GMs designs and disposition. (If the GM wishes to expand into other NUELOW products, one result might be that over-zealous characters take their investigation too far and find themselves banished from the realm, forced to depart by land, ship or Nuelow Gate. The characters might also emerge as heroes.)
The half-fairies had boxed the fairies in and were moving in for the kill when the characters stumbled into the middle of the situation. The fairy leader tries to convince the character with the highest Personality Attribute Rating that the only way they're going to survive is to cooperate. The characters' war horses see the reality of this situation. Will the player characters?
In order for both the characters and fairies to survive, it is crucial the crusaders target and destroy the five Ohmys, so the fairies can use their invisibility powers in combat. Once the battle is over, the fairies might just slip away invisibly, or attempt to seduce the player characters.
The characters will probably try to convince their fellow half-fairies their leader has been replaced with a foul fairy. No one will believe them. If they can find a way to confront the masquerading fairy in private, because doing so in public will only get them declared outcasts--the fairy will reveal that it knows of an herb that protects his kind from ohmy detection. Not believing the characters resourceful enough to find and destroy the only source of this plant, he gives them its general location: the heart of Where the Wild Things Are. This leads the characters on a traditional wilderness exploration and a possible dungeon crawl through the Caves of the Ohmy.
Make your own... or adapt an adventure from everyone's favorite three-letter role-playing game (you know, @*&*). You've got to have at least one lying around the house somewhere.
Well, this is the last lines of the first title in the series even the originators didn't think was going to happen. Will the NUELOW game continue from this point? That depends on you. As mentioned several times above, we've got ideas for several more of these little beauties. (Yes, Virginia, there is an end to western civilization, and you're looking at it.)
If you'll play along, we intend to create a universal game system in which all the pieces and rules fit together smoothly. We hope to produce something not unlike an exploding clown mobile. But, now you have to decide if you want to rise above what we have to offer. You've read the book, now play the game. (At least send us an e-mail canceling your order for future volumes or tell us what you thought.)
At NUELOW, we have designers who care. Not about the game, mind you, but they still care. Comments, rants, raves, and random thoughts about life, the universe, and the NUELOW we've all discovered, can be sent to nuelow@earthlink.net.
Take care, until next time.
Steven Miller
The One To Blame
Original "Forthcoming NUELOW products":
"Lust and Dust!" (Available late February '94)
"Stars and Garters!" (Available late March '94)
"Horn Dogs!" (Available late April '94)
"Trouble with Tommyguns!" (Available late May '94)
"Sea of Sinners!" (Available June '94)
"Monster Beach Blanket Bingo Party!" (Available late July '94)
"Ugly Ducklings and Ice Queens!" (Available late August '94)
"Phantom Lovers!" (Available late September '94)
"The Nuelow Bedside Companion!" (Available late October '94)
[ "Lust and Dust", "Horn Dogs", and "Ugly Ducklings" did make it out, among others, but the rest did not. ]